February is full of messages about love. You see hearts everywhere. People talk about caring, kindness, and being there for each other. But what if love in your life feels confusing? What if you love your parent deeply, but sometimes being around them also hurts?
If your parent has a mental illness, you might experience both things at the same time. You might love them and still feel scared of their mood swings. You might care about them and still feel angry about how their behavior affects you. You might want to protect them and protect yourself at the same time.
That doesn’t make you selfish. It makes you human.
Love does not mean you have to accept behavior that harms you. It does not mean staying silent when something feels wrong. It does not mean ignoring your own feelings so someone else feels better.
You can love your parent and still set boundaries. You can care about them and still say, “I need space.” You can want them to get better and still admit that their struggles are affecting you.
Sometimes people think boundaries mean pushing someone away. In reality, boundaries are about protecting your own mental and emotional health. They are about recognizing that your feelings matter too.
You are allowed to want safety. You are allowed to want respect. You are allowed to want peace.
Love should not cost you your well-being.
