Loving someone who struggles with mental illness can feel complicated. You might feel protective one moment and frustrated the next. You might feel close to your parent sometimes and distant at other times. You might feel guilty for being angry, or ashamed for feeling relieved when they are not around.
Mixed feelings are normal.
You can love your parent and still feel hurt by them. You can understand that they are struggling and still wish things were different. You can feel proud of their progress and disappointed when things slip backward.
Having complicated emotions does not make you disloyal. It does not mean you are ungrateful. It does not mean you are a bad son or daughter.
When a parent has a mental illness, their behavior can sometimes be unpredictable or overwhelming. Your brain and heart are trying to make sense of something that is not simple. That is why your feelings might shift so often.
It helps to remind yourself that emotions are not wrong. They are signals. They tell you what feels safe, what feels unfair, what feels loving, and what feels painful.
You do not have to choose just one feeling. You can hold more than one truth at the same time.
You can love your parent and still want better for yourself.
